“Being taken to an apology lunch. I’m asking for shaved truffles on everything- salad, french fries, steak, flourless chocolate cake etc.”
—Byrdie Bell
May 2009
Lessons from Edith Head - How to Dress to Get A Man & Keep Him
Ms. Head gives us a sure fire game plan on how to nab a guy, and even harder, how to keep him. In 1967, you couldn’t stop for a Botox quickie at lunch time. You had to rely on Lycra and good styling tips to show off your god given assets in the best light possible.
But Edith doesn’t want you to just run off and get married to the first bozo that comes your way. Rather, she treats the ritual of finding a guy like a hunt…
“If you don’t know the man, or haven’t met him, do what a hunter does. Go where the game is!”
And were is the game? Airports, train stations, hotel lobbies, anywhere you enjoy a hobby.
She also addresses the wallflower in us all - the girl that doesn’t think she is attractive enough to find a suitor. Her secret? Be interesting. Be interesting to look at.
“Frequently at parties and premieres attended by Hollywood stars, visitors are shocked when they see the wives of our handsomest film stars. These men who work constantly with women who are the epitome of glamor, very often marry women who are quite ordinary to look at. The unknowing are inclined to ask “How on earth did she ever get him?” I can tell you because I know. She interested him more than any other woman.”
She talks about several types of men, and how to dress for them. The Sportsman, the Man About Town, the Intellectual, and the Successful Executive (Don Draper) all have an ideal perfect woman. Edith gives you accessorizing tips for last minute dates with these fascinating me.
Above all, she pleads us women to be a covered girl, and not a Cover Girl because in this society of “topless bathing suits”, and man invariably marries the less exhibitionist woman. Man is a jealous creature by nature you know?
Success Formula for Getting and Keeping a Husband:
1. Decide want kind of man you want.
2. Find out what kind of girls he likes.
3. Know what kind of fashions pleases him.
4. Don’t masquerade in clothes you hate just to attract a man. Be sure you are really, deep down in side, this kind of girl. If not, find another man!
5. Learn all you can about him - his hobbies, his interests, his likes, his dislikes.
6. Be interested in his interests.
7. Choose your wardrobe to please him and suit his way of life.
8. After you get him, stay the way you were and don’t relax into a post-marriage slump of careless marriage.
9. Look reasonably enticing in the morning - better at night.
sometimes i worry that i have the tendency to upstage others
“And adopting kids isn’t the only thing Jolie thinks Madonna has done for fame: She’s told pals she believes Madge has dabbled in lesbianism “for attention and press,” whereas Jolie got involved with Jenny Shimizu at a “confused” time in her life.”
—
Listen
‘Loose Fit’- The Happy Mondays
one more thing to get you in the summer mood ...
New York’s “Bars of New York” feature, including a guide to the potency of several margaritas around the city. The best part of the marg chart is …
The Scale
- .02 is lightly buzzed
- .04 is getting there
- .08 is DUI
- .16 is let-me-go-on-at-length-about-something-irrelevant
- .32 is Orson Welles
“Much of what is labeled mental illness simply reflects our ‘unwise’ deployment of defense mechanisms. If we use defenses well, we are deemed mentally healthy, conscientious, funny, creative, and altruistic. If we use them badly, the psychiatrist diagnoses us ill, our neighbors label us unpleasant, and society brands us immoral.”
— George Valliant: “What Makes Us Happy?”, The Atlantic
i didn’t get called for a job today. my to-do list looks a little like this:
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
- sunbathe
oh- and i still miss socialiterank
.
exchange, 10/14
ex’s mother: i think that boy has a bit of a crush on you!
me: many do.
ex: so-o modest.
“I went to Publix to get Blairena licking an ice cream cone on my birthday cake and they said ‘we are a family establishment, that is too obscene’”
—
